Meet valentines day: New Brunswick's iconic local band talks singles, representation, music

On a cold Monday night, I visited a valentines day band rehearsal. It was in the drummer’s newly renovated — fancy, but cozy — home basement that has a full bar in the back, a large idol of Buddha and a large, comfy couch. In the middle space in front of the electric fireplace, there was a full drum set, an amp, a piano and a mess of wires.

I sat down to talk to valentines day and figure out just how this unique band came to be and how it grew so quickly.

The self-described "queer and woc (women of color) band from New Brunswick" consists of five members: Emily Tronolone, a School of Arts and Sciences senior, on the bass guitar, Nishta Venkatesh, a Rutgers Business School junior, on the drums, Nastaisha McKinnon, a School of Arts and Sciences senior — better known as "Stage" — on the lead guitar, Sarah Dowdy, a School of Arts and Sciences senior, on vocals, and Ariadna Uribe, a Class of 2018 Rutgers alumn, on vocals, tambourine and backup guitar.

The band started with Tronolone and McKinnon meeting through the former Musician’s Guild club at Rutgers. They found they meshed well musically, and started thinking of forming an all-women band. The idea was bounced around in group chats like RU Creatives and New Brunswick Basement Shows, where eventually, they found their members.

Though everyone is or was a STEM major, they all share the same passion and love for music that originated in their youth. Tronolone started off with piano then switched to guitar and liked it better. She got into bass guitar by initially lying about being able to play it for her high school band club — she's been playing the bass since.

Venkatesh saw her father play classical Indian percussion like tabla and dhol at a young age. She was inspired to start playing the drums, taking lessons from Scott Strunk from Strunk Drum Studio in Hillsborough Township, New Jersey. “He taught me everything I know,” she said.

McKinnon’s first instrument was also piano, but she chose to start playing guitar after seeing someone play at a talent show. She mainly taught herself. At Rutgers, the New Brunswick band scene inspired her to join in. She names the local band, Sonoa, as her inspiration, specifically when she saw them perform at Beats on the Bank.

Uribe’s mother was an artist. “Her one thing for my siblings and I growing up was that if we weren’t artists, we weren’t a part of the family,” she said. “From the get-go, she set the precedent that, in some capacity, art needed to be in our lives.” 

Dowdy also started off with piano lessons. Her passion for music originated from there. “My mom would always make me do karaoke because that was kind of part of our culture,” Dowdy said. Once they purchased a ukulele, they started writing songs with it.

The origin of the name "valentines day" was random. The members went on band name generators and began browsing, but they didn’t like the "corny," death metal-esque names they were getting. When a name had the word "valentine" in it, the group decided they liked the theme.

It was Venkatesh who proposed the idea. “I think I was like, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if we all don’t like Valentine’s Day, but we named our band valentines day?’” she said. For them, the name is a reclamation of the holiday and a way to show the juxtaposition between happy-sounding beats with more serious lyrics.

valentines day is more than just a band in New Brunswick: it's a rare gem in a sea of majority straight, white and male bands in the scene.

“I think (the qualifiers queer and WOC) are important because we are bringing representation,” said Tronolone. She believes people relating to them and feeling comfortable around them due to their diversity have contributed to their success.

Uribe added that the band’s identifiers allow for their more fluid gender identity to be more visible. “I'm a very cis, straight passing person,” she said, even though she isn't. “It brings (to) light that people on the spectrum can look like this.”

In some cases, minorities feel that they’re not taken as seriously in their field and have to work twice as hard for the same amount of respect as their straight, white, male counterparts, but valentines day says it doesn't feel the pressure to prove themselves from the New Brunswick band scene.

“I feel like the people we’ve met over the past a less than a year now are just really nice. They’re just really nice, really welcoming for the most part,” said Tronolone. “I don’t really feel pressure from them ... I definitely feel the pressure from myself.”

McKinnon, or Stage, says that she feels pressure from herself as well because there are so many talented guitarists in New Brunswick. “I look at them, and am like, ‘Oh my God, why can’t I be that good?’" McKinnon said.

A particularly memorable source of stress came from playing Nirvana at a cover show. "I have to show other people in New Brunswick that I can actually play guitar, and I’m not a mess up,” she said.

Venkatesh agrees, but she shares an experience where she was underestimated by some guys.

“Someone was texting Stage about overhearing some guys at our show. They were talking about me and saying, ‘oh, she’s actually good. Normally, people BS their parts,’" she said. "In terms of that, I do find that here and there, people will word things where they’re not expecting us to be as good as we actually are, which can be kind of annoying, but it’s cool to be able to prove them wrong.”

valentines day recently released a single called "spineless" on Feb. 14 — Valentine's Day. In terms of production, the band shouts out Justin Calaycay from Mt. Moon Recording in Highland Park, New Jersey, who the group found through a recommendation from the New Brunswick Basement Show group chat.

“He really helped us bring the song to life,” Tronolone said. “This was our first experience together in the studio.”

Venkatesh said Dowdy, the band's vocalist, recorded a sample melody for the song in a ShopRite parking lot and that the song is about her own personal story. At 2 a.m., Dowdy began to write.

"I thought of the lyric first, ‘walking contradiction’ ... People are always like that, kind of like they say one thing and they do another thing, sending mixed signals all the time. I was dealing with that at that point," she said.

“I have struggled a lot with mental health in my life,” Dowdy continued. "spineless" allowed her the opportunity to explore her experience with mental health, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

The process of making this song was a lot of individual work based on everyone’s respective instruments and talents, and then collaboration to bring the song together. “For ‘spineless,’ everyone did pretty much write their own parts,” Tronolone said. “We all are doing what we’re best at.” 

The band hopes to release an album or an EP before the end of the year at some point, though the group hasn't decided on the structure yet. Currently, they're back in the studio recording another single.

While valentines day isn't set on what sound it's going for, or what message it wants to convey, the band's adamant that being together and working together is such a positive environment and that the rest will come on its own.

“I don’t think I’ve ever stepped foot in this space and just been like, ‘Oh, someone’s like running the show,’” Uribe said. “We all come in with the intention of (working) together. Whether or not that is explicitly said, that's what it feels like.”

For everyone, the most validating moment of being in the band was during its performance at Mum’s House on Feb. 17 when people in the audience were singing along to the group's newly released song, "spineless."

“That might have been the first show that people really came there for us,” Tronolone said. “That was a crazy feeling.”