ESCHLEMAN: Academic spaces should encourage balanced, collaborative culture over toxic competition
Column: Shower Thoughts
When I was applying to colleges, my main priority was getting into a college with a prestigious name. I wanted to be able to point to something concrete as a way to validate my hard work. I was obviously concerned about my future and career prospects, but I also felt this intense need to prove myself to others. Ultimately, it made the most sense financially to attend Rutgers, and it turned out to be the best fit for me. Read more about my decision in my first article.
Looking back at my thought process during my college admission cycle, there was a key aspect of college culture that I neglected to consider. I never asked myself about the academic culture of the universities I was looking at. I merely shrugged at the thought of a "competitive" culture. It did not seem like a big deal.
But then, I actually went to college. I realized how easy it is to compare yourself to others. When I find it impossible to pay attention in a difficult lecture, I immediately envy the student that raises their hand and answers every question correctly.
When people talk about their summer internships, I become self-conscious because I did not have one last summer. When I am feeling burnt out, I immediately criticize myself as I watch others continue to study diligently.
Imposter syndrome is inevitable in college. I have become more aware of how hard I am on myself, and most people can resonate with this sentiment. I realized that if I am already so hard on myself, a toxic, competitive academic culture would only hurt my self-esteem and motivation further. While I am glad that Rutgers is not extremely cutthroat, I would argue that at times, it can feel overwhelming when trying to stay afloat academically.
This competitive culture also varies by school and by major. Engineering students are notoriously known for their difficult course load, as well as pharmacy students. It feels as if all business students can talk about are their past and prospective internship opportunities. If you are pre-med, pre-law or on any sort of pre-professional track, you feel the intense pressure to do well academically so you can get into an exceptional graduate program.
If you are in the humanities, you feel the pressure to guarantee some sort of job security in a competitive and fading industry. The list goes on, and each area faces its own challenges, yet this is a universal experience.
A graduate of Ithaca College reflected on the toxic, competitive culture he experienced while he was a student. From his first year onward, Sean Murphy found himself looking at his peers’ packed schedules and asking himself, "Why am I not doing that? Am I doing enough?"
As Murphy continued to overload his schedule every semester, he found himself taking pride in "working (himself) to the bone," boasting about "how busy" he was and feeling validated when "someone knew" about his "late nights spent working in the library."
Murphy describes this mindset as viewing being busy as "a badge of honor" that contributes to a toxic "culture of our own making that fills every idle moment with unnecessary anxiety" and perpetuates a competitive environment at the expense of mental health. Murphy ultimately concludes that students need to focus on feeling content with themselves and on "(unlearning) the destructive ways (they) speak about (their) work.”
Murphy eloquently articulates the problem with highly competitive college environments and what college students need to remember when reflecting on themselves and interacting with others. Rutgers students need to ask themselves the same questions Murphy asks himself and consider how they are feeding into competitive college culture for their own sake and those around them.
When you are discussing academics or career prospects with others, make sure to validate their accomplishments and reassure them that they are doing enough when they doubt themselves. Make sure to ask about how much they have been sleeping or about the last time they had enough downtime to take a step back, spend time with themselves and recharge.
Instead of criticizing myself for taking a day of rest, I now view those days as productive. If I do not take the time to recharge, I am going to burn out. Rest makes us more productive and gives us the energy to go on to accomplish bigger and better things.
Rutgers is already taking strides in the right direction. I recently had a conversation with a Rutgers student who transferred from a different university. He talked about how the university he previously attended had a more intense and competitive academic culture. People did not feel inclined to help others. If you were struggling in a class, you had to work through the challenges on your own.
He said Rutgers students are more willing to help others, and that speaks volumes about the type of university Rutgers is and is becoming. Rutgers students should continue to not only uplift others but also uplift themselves, no matter how self-critical we have been wired to be.
Sara Eschleman is a Rutgers Business School sophomore majoring in marketing and minoring in English. Her column, "Shower Thoughts," runs on alternate Thursdays.
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